Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Loneliness overpowers me sometimes...Though I desperately stick on to my facade of "oh me so happy" "oh me so fun" "me the extrovert" but still sometimes my lonely self surfaces over all facades, all the fake smiles, all the "I don't like it but I need to smile" moments...I lose the battle...I give in sometimes...Its embarrassing...
The world around me is not used to my lonely and quiet self...thanks to my pukish pretentions...they keep on nagging me with the question ..."Ki holo, aj eto chupchap keno? Mon kharap korche?" I answer with renewed vigour..."Arey na na...emni"...I can never define this "emni" in my life...I don the mask again...and again I'm a part of the world around...
Nights are all the more empty...a vast expanse of dark sky stretches beyond my iron grilled windows...I have figured out the world outside is equally lonely and cold ...just like me...

The night unfolds and my eyelids get heavy with age old slumber...I'm tired...it finally gives me the long awaited respite from my facade...shields me from all the pretentions...I hide like a helpless child inside its unfathomable darkness...but then yet another day begins...

2 comments:

ron said...

good one ...ur going through change that means...psychological, enviromental, and identity...it is just a passing phase.but well put...since these are abstract thoughts ...words can hardly concretize them...its just d mood and certain small insignificant words and phrases....

pritha said...

u just echoed my thoughts...... me too having a lot of friends who pet me, adore me and think the world of me, but in this flock of wellwishers I find myself as a lonely brooding self,waiting for that unknown, mystical truth called life to reveal its true self